I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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