His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
