oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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