Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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