dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
