Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
