No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
