Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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