Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
