Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
