yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
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Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
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