Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
