K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
