I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
