Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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