So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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