...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
