I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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