when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize