Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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