She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
