At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
