Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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