are you still at the devil's house?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
