i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
