My hand turned me down
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
