you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
