Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You need Xanax blowdarts
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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