Non-Jews are for practice
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
