Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
