i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
