Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize