I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
