..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
