If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
