you win again, gameday.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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