We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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