he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
