the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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