i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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