I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
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Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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