I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
