Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
