my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
