I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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