Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
