I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
