Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
