I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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