I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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