We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
