He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize