I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
