strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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