I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
