like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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