I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am mentally ready for anal.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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