Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
