guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
my poor anus
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
