I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize